Letting Go

Hands fisted
Tightly grasping
Knuckles white
Hanging on for dear life.

A whisper,
“Let go.”

Yet I hang on
Not oblivious to the pain
Accustomed to it
The unknown is a dark and scary journey
And so the pain and I become one
Bound together by the fear.

Fear of failure
Of rejection
Of shame
Of lack.

The whisper again in my ear, 
“Let go.”

But letting go feels to me like giving up
Like being conquered
So I hold on harder
Attempting to control what I cannot.

Still God whispers, 
“Let go and let me."

And then it becomes clear
Letting go
Is not giving up
It is giving away the control
To the One who is in control of it all.

I open my hands
Palms raised
And in the letting go
The healing begins.

Unconditional

Last weekend I watched a movie based on a true story from Japan about a dog named Hachiko. Every day the dog would walk with his owner, a college professor, to the train station and see him off to work. Then every evening the dog would meet his owner at the station when he returned and walk home with him...EVERY day WITHOUT FAIL. One day the professor suffered a heart attack while at work and died, but the dog continued to wait faithfully for the professor to return. In fact, Hachiko waited in the same spot every day for over NINE YEARS until he too died in 1935. In honor of his unconditional love, loyalty, and faithfulness, the Japanese people placed a statue of Hachiko at the train station where he spent almost his entire life waiting for his beloved owner to come home.

Amazing? Not really. You see, Hachiko was created by a God who is the very definition of unconditional love, loyalty, and faithfulness. He sacrificed His own son on a cross because His love for us was so great that He could not bear to have us forever separated from Him. EVERY day WITHOUT FAIL, He waits for each of us. Some will be stepping off the train for the very first time while others are returning after getting off at the wrong stop. For some the journey is long and for others quite short, but no matter how long it takes we will find Him there waiting with open arms and when we step off the platform into His presence we will know we are HOME.

Who is like you, LORD God Almighty? You, LORD, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. Psalm 89:8

Beautiful

I had to wait in line to get in, but it was worth it. When he spotted me his face lit up and he hurried through the crowd. A seventh grader with blue eyes, blond curls, and dimples, he was one of my favorite students. Over his difficulties with math and language arts we had formed a special bond. That was why I was here. I couldn't be anywhere else. When he reached me he grabbed my hand and said, "Come on. I want you to meet my mother." He pulled me toward the front of the room and I followed. I was reluctant, but I what else could I do? This half boy, half man needed me and I would not refuse him.

"Isn't she beautiful?" he asked softly still holding tightly to my hand as we looked down at her earthly remains lying on a bed of pink satin. No. What cancer had done to her not even the undertaker had been able to disguise. But, then again she wasn't my mother and to him she was indeed beautiful. "Yes," I said and squeezed his hand.

Over ten years have passed since that day. That student is now a man and I have taken another career path, but I will never forget the lesson of that moment. Beauty is subjective, but when seen through the eyes of love the not so beautiful becomes a thing of great beauty. When my Heavenly Father looks at me, He looks past the ravages of sin and bad choices. He doesn't see the ugliness of my addictions and mistakes. Seen through the blood of His son, the proof of His love for me, I AM BEAUTIFUL and so are you. Rest in His love today and know You are His creation, He loves you, and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I have loved you with an everlasting love... Jeremiah 31:3